When Insults Had Class

May 19, 2007

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I  approved of it.”
Mark Twain

“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries  with great pleasure.”

Clarence Darrow

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”
Winston Churchill

“A modest little person, with much to be modest about.”
Winston Churchill

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader  to the dictionary.”
William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

“Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?”
Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time
reading it.”
Moses

“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I
know.”
Abraham Lincoln

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.”
Groucho Marx

“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.”
Oscar Wilde

“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a
friend…. if you have one
George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… if there is
one.”
Winston Churchill, in response

“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.”
Stephen Bishop

“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.”
John Bright

“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.”
Irvin S. Cobb

“He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.”
Samuel Johnson

“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.”
Paul Keating

“He had delusions of adequacy.”
— Walter Kerr

“There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure.”
Jack E. Leonard

“He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.”
Robert

“They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum
of human knowledge.”
— Thomas Brackett Reed

“He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears,
but by diligent hard work, he overcame them.”
James Reston (about Richard Nixon)

“In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.”
Charles, Count

“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.”
Forrest Tucker

“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on
it?”
Mark Twain

“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.”
Mae West

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.”
Oscar Wilde

“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts…
for support rather than illumination.”
Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.”
Billy Wilder

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